Monday, December 18, 2017

7 DAYS Of TABONGA! X-MAS MONSTER CHUCKLES

There are seven days left 'til Christmas, so, here are seven Tabonga! Chuckles for you to have a few laffs before we turn into a banana republic and start slipping and sliding on all those rotten slimy peels...

Now, I'll just let the monsters do all the yakking from here...







Okay then, there you have it, some monster laffs to count down the days 'til Christmas! Hope you enjoyed them, I like the eggnog joke the best. Tune in Wednesday for more X-Mas Cargo... Oh yeah, and, TAX BREAKS FOR THE BITCH!!!

Saturday, December 16, 2017

MAGIC CHRISTMAS TREE - "The Enchanting Story Of The True Meaning Of Christmas" (1964)

 Thanx to KD's suggestion, I've got a Super-Duper Saturday X-Mas Special for you tonight, a veritable "Holiday Adventure that dazzles your eyes...fills you with fun!"

 "Magic Christmas Tree" is like the "Manos" of Christmas movies!
It's slow, strange, odd, and weird, sometimes all at the same time!

 I seriously thought something was screwy when "Magic Christmas Tree" started off as a Halloween flick!

 This witch wants the little neighbor boy to climb a tree to save her cat!

 He does it, but falls and hits his head, and when he awakes, it's in living colour!

In gratitude, the witch gives the little boy a magic ring!

 Flash forward to Thanksgiving day and the prefect nuclear family!

 Well, you just have to love this happy couple, the parents of the kid with the magic ring! The husband is Dick Parish, who was also the Director! His wife is darling Darlene Lohnes! These were the only two acting roles these two ever had! Hard to imagine!

 There is a scene of the husband guy trying to start his lawnmower that apparently needs a tuneup that goes on for at least five minutes! Also a large portion of the sound is overdubbed with all kinds of over the top sound effects!

And his wife is yakking on the phone to her girlfriend the whole time with the loud lawnmower in the background!

 Out of nowhere, a Christmas tree has sprung up in their back yard! (Blame the kid!)

 There are a gazillion images you could find, but this freakin' looks like my childhood Christmas!

Mom and Dad go out, and the kid has some quiet time with the tree, which can now talk! 
The boy was played by Chris Kroesen in his solo acting venture! Thus far, I would have sworn this movie was made in Texas, but it was actually filmed in La Verne, California!

The tree is magic and transports itself into the living room, and then decorates itself, and I think that the tree at this point is looking like a festive version of "The Beast From Haunted Cave!"

Good ole T-Bird gas, probably about twenty cents a gallon!
"The Magic Christmas Tree" gives the boy three wishes, one of which is to have magic powers for an hour! At that point, the movie turns into the Keystone Kops, and about ten minutes of the kid making vehicles run off with no driver!  It would be hilarious if it was funny, but it's not!

Bummer time! The kid uses his second wish to have Santa Claus all to himself! And that's the story of how one little bastard in 1964 tried to ruin Christmas for  the whole entire stinking world! 
Santa is stuck in the chair, and can't believe what has happened to him!

Robert 'Big Buck' Maffei is only one of two actors in this film with any other credits! The other one being stuntman Willard W. Willingham! Here Robert is a guy named Greed, who lets the kid know what's up! At 7'1" Robert also had roles in "Star Trek," and "Lost In Space" as a creature and a cyclops! His last role was in Cheech and Chong's "Nice Dreams!" Big guys go down hard sometimes! Robert passed away at 52 in 1982!

Spoiler Alert: The kid uses his last wish to make the other two wishes not happen, and wakes up, and it was all only a dream!!! Or.......Was it??
"Magic Christmas Tree" is one big gigantic mess, but I'm sure it's just as good as "The Christmas Story," a movie that, to this day, I've never been able to sit through, and if you don't believe me, then go ahead and waste an hour or your life, because you can watch it for FREE, right
And while you're there, do the right thing in the holiday spirit, and make a donation, even if it's only a couple of bucks, because a lot of what I've been able to bring to you here wouldn't have been possible without them!

Friday, December 15, 2017

SOME SANTO MEXICAN LOBBY CARD STOCKING STUFFERS

Well, I was trying to make some Tabonga Chuckles, but, Photoshop was totally screwing with me and I don't have time to try and figure out what's wrong, so, here's my Plan 9 for today's post!.. That's right, Santo and some of the many villains he clobbered throughout the years!

In SANTO CONTRA EL ESTRANGULADOR, our hero battles an insane strangler that's after his friends. What's up with those musical notes on the poster? Well, watch the flick and find out!

SANTO CONTRA LAS MUJERES VAMPIRO has a professor recruiting Santo to protect his daughter from vampires intent on kidnapping her and marrying her to the devil!

In SANTO Y BLUE DEMON CONTRA DRACULA Y EL HOMBRE LOBO, our heroes tangle with good old Dracula and his wolfman backup, lots of insane fun here!

SANTO CONTRA LA HIJA DE FRANKESTEIN is another wild movie, a mad female scientist needs Santo's blood for a youth serum, and she has Frankenstein's reliable monster to help her get it!

In SANTO Y BLUE DEMON CONTRA LOS MONSTRUOS, our wrestling buddies battle a mad doctor and his army of reanimated monsters, in order to save the world from the madman's insane invasion... I love it, my best monster pal, OOK!, is there on the right side of the poster!

Our hero is back in SANTO EN LA VENGANZA DE LAS MUJERES VAMPIRO for another 12 rounds of brutal action as he once again kicks ass and takes no vampire names!

It's even more vampires in SANTO EN EL TESORO DRACULA. This time, Santo invents a time machine (what the Hell!) and uses it to find the hidden location of Drácula's treasure, and must hunt down the bloody vampire and stomp him a goodern!

Love this poster for SANTO EN EL HOTEL DE LA MUERTE!.. Of course, there's mystery, murder and suspense in the creepy old Hotel Of Death! Oh, and hot chicks in their see-thru nighties!

Wolf (NEUTRON) Ruvinskis also stars as the head Martian in SANTO EN LA INVASION DE LOS MARCIANOS. You got it, the Martians come to Earth to try and take it over, Santo foils them!

Our last card is for SANTO CONTRA LOS ZOMBIES. This time, Santo battles an evil scientist who has created a race of zombies to take over Mexico! Tune in again tomorrow for more wild 'n' weird Dungeon X-Mas Cargo!

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

TABONGA'S TV-MOVIE CREDITS (1986 - 1988)

Tonight I've got a most special Whacked-Out Wednesday X-Mas present for you!!
In the 1980's Tabonga moved to L.A. and tried his damnedest to carve out a career in the movies!
He was the guy known as 'The Extra!'

 In 1986 the movie "Stand By Me" came out, so to get in on the whole MTV video type scene, they brought out the original singer of "Stand By Me" Ben E. King to make a video that included some of the kids from the movie! 

Tabonga got a gig as an extra in the crowd, the guy up in the top left corner! It's almost like Tabonga was the precursor to the whole photobomb movement, and who else was cool enough to have shades on? Nobody in this scene! Tabonga's roles in both this video and movie dominate the screen, and have left viewers gasping for more! And here's what I'm talking about:

This shot is even better, you can see how he demanded to be center, and to further prove his talent, if you watch the video, you'll see that he's the only one swaying in the right direction, everyone else is going the other way! 

I don't know how the Director could put up with that many people out of synch! Check it out for yourself right
HERE!

 In 1987, Tabonga, on the right, had the almost co-star, but not quite credited hillbilly-in-long-johns role in "Timestalkers!"
 
Then in the 1988 James Woods' movie "Cop," they needed somebody with strong character to stand in the background with his pregnant wife answering cop questions while the main action was a conversation between the two detectives!

 Tabonga killed it in this performance! It was so easy for him, he even got to smoke a cigarette!
 
 And not to be content with that, Tabonga was one of the Storm Troopers in the 1988 Michael Jackson project, "Moonwalker" He's the one circled on the poster, and yeah, I know anyone could make that claim, but this time, it's actually true!!
The man was an icon of the late 80's, despite the fact that nobody knew it!

And finally, here he is on the left, in the yellow bumpcap as Race, on the legendary L.A. public access TV show "Offbeat" as one of the Offbeatniks, and to his left, or my right, is me! The other characters are the Brain on the bass, and Andy and Reverend Tom in the background! It wasn't weird at all, it just looks that way!

Monday, December 11, 2017

GAMERA AND HIS GIANT MONSTER FOES!

Here we go with another week of fun, here at The Dungeon!.. Today, we take a look at the original GAMERA flicks and the giant monsters what asses he kicked! The posters are original Japanese releases...

We start with GAMERA: THE GIANT MONSTER from 1965. In this one, Gamera, like Godzilla, is not a nice person, and doesn't like kids yet! Dungeon great Brian (THE QUATERMASS XPERIMENT, QUATERMASS II) Donlevy has a small part as an American General.

In GAMERA vs. BARUGON from 1966, our big pal takes on a giant monster that emits a destructive ray from its back! Keeping up with the Godzilla movies in the sixties, Gamera is now the friend of children!! Damn, Barugon looks like a freakin' goof ball...

In 1967 we get GAMERA vs. GAOS, a gigantic bat emerges from a volcano to terrorize Japan, and, only one thing can stop it!.. Yeah, you know what.

A year later in 1968, Gamera falls under the spell of evil aliens, but two children free him and he returns to Earth to fight the aliens' deadly tentacled monster in GAMERA vs. VIRAS!

In GAMERA vs. GUIRON from 1969, aliens kidnap two children and take them to another planet for the purpose of getting knowledge from their brains, but Gamera follows and tries to rescue them! This is one of the weirdest flicks ever conceived, wow, totally freakin' bonkers!!

When an ancient statue is moved for display from its original location, a giant Triceratops-like monster is released. The monster goes to Japan in pursuit of the statue and ends up battling our big old hero in GAMERA vs. JIGER from 1970.

Space aliens arrive on Earth with their giant shark and intend to take over the planet in GAMERA vs. ZIGRA from 1971, My favorite part in this kwazy flick is the space chick that runs around in her tiny little bikini... Check out that rock stuck on Zigra'a nose!

Last on the list is GAMERA: SUPER MONSTER from 1980, which uses clips from his previous movies. This time, Gamera deals with alien forces sending all the monsters Gamera has faced in one final battle to rid the planet of its last hope!

Hey everbloody, we just added our Dungeon movie trailers there on the side bar, go ahead and check it out, you'll like 'em!!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??